Insanely creepy house listing on Zillow is your new dream home

Image: zillow

“Please spoke carefully before scheduling describes, ” is the ominous, precedent-setting introduction to the most puzzling house rolling you’ll read all day( or all year ).

If you’re looking for your dreaming home in Cayce, South Carolina, and you have no reservations about possibly dead upstairs neighbours, look no farther because this Zillow posting is ripe for the take. Let’s take a tour shall we?

Image: zillow

Welcome home! Not bad, right? A entirely reasonable fixer upper with an affordable mortgage. The home is sold as-is, so let’s take a look inside!

Image: zillow

Okay so that’s a fairly sizeable hole in the ceiling, and you are responsible for restoring it. Hey, could be worse! Still on board? Great! Let’s take a look at the beautiful spacious backyard that comes complete with a flame cavity!

Image: zillow

Look at that great flame cavity! Perfect for having the family outside on a brisk autumn eve. That sinister statue to the right come here for the place and predates record. Do not try to move it, we’re afraid it’s cursed. Possibly by your upstairs neighbours. Oh yeah, by the way the enumerate actually, seriously articulates 😛 TAGEND

“Upstairs suite cannot be shown under any circumstances. Buyer assumes responsibility for the month-to-month tenancy in the upstairs suite. Occupant “ve never” paid, and no security deposit is being held, but there is a lease in place.( Yes, it does not make sense, please don’t bother questioning .) ”

Yeah, so there are some upstairs neighbours that we’ve never seen and never pay rent. Our proceeding theory is that they’re dead or they’re witches. Do not ask about them, and do not try to communicate with them.

Let’s keep looking around!

Image: zillow

You weren’t supposed to see this part. We have wandered too far. That’s uhhh…paint, I assure you. Disregard it.

Okay that’s enough touring, let’s get your identify signed on that dotted line. What do you say? Once again, do not ask me about the upstairs neighbours, they are your responsibility and likewise might be practicing dark sorcery. Either that or they are dead, which Hey where are you going? Wait come back! It’s extremely affordable! A really good starter house! We can talk about proceeding 50/50 on the ceiling repairs if that’s what’s holding you back!

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