The 10 Unhealthiest Easter Foods To Avoid At All Costs

Like our close religion cousins the Jews, we Christians is absolutely feel for the whole unhealthy holiday foods thing. Easter( also known as Feaster) hosts some fairly bitchin meat, but, sadly, with that whole resurrection thing does not go a refreshed sense of armistice for your thighs. Thanks a lot, Jesus.

Below is our roundup of the top 10 worst for you Easter foods to avoid at all costs this year. So while youre sitting in your little pastel dress, looking at the reward of springtime, remember that summer and bikini season is closing in on you.

1. Peeps

What do you get when you take a genuinely deformed and overly processed marshmallow, throw it in enough carbohydrate to kill a diabetic, and smoosh it into a festive shape? PEEPS. These god-awful candies have been peering at you with their dead eyes for too long. Theyre literally JUST sugar and, hence, are on our listing for AVOID during this Easter season.

2. Hot Cross Buns

Does anyone even feed these anymore? I only remember them from a nursery rhyme we were was necessary to sing in Kindergarten( thanks, Catholic academy ). I’ve never actually eaten one of these, but I can play this song on the recorder, so. Win for education and training systems? Anyway, the real foods generally going to weigh in between 160 -2 50 calories PER BUN, and its likely you wont feed merely one. Hey, that rhymed, too. Next.

3. Babka

If you arent Eastern European, you probably dont know wtf this is, but, trust me, its a buttery, sinful, braided challah-like sweet food generally fitted with raisins, chocolate, cinnamon, or some combining. Obviously, any bread product “ve created” approximately 3 sticks of butter isnt gonna be a great talent for your thighs. Jesus “wouldve wanted” you to avoid it. And at approximately 150 calories for a small slice, hes likely right this time.

4. Quiche

Combine eggs, milk, cheese, and some sort of ham product and whatta ya get? Bubbling fat, thats what. There are ways to cut back and make quiche health, but why would you? Just evade it altogether and dont tease yourself with that 484 calorie( YES I KNOW) slice of quiche Lorraine. Its not worth it, and a muffin top is unbecoming.

5. Ham

Call me fake report all you want, but we cannot deny the evil that is ham. Its a pork product generally basted in either fruit, fruit conserves, or carbohydrate, so , not really helping out the calorie controversy here. Likewise, its a salt bomb, and promises to fill your little fingers to sausage proportions once they swell. Enjoy trying to give the sign of armistice at Mass when you cant deflect your pinky. It aint fairly. Ask mom to make a roast chicken or some fancy lamb instead.

6. Reese’s Peanut Butter Easter Eggs

To venture into the candy realm is to suffer certain letdown. As weve pointed out before, Reese’sa lovely combining of chocolate and peanut butterare a calorie blowup. Growing chocolate into a festive egg does not a health dessert build. One of these will set you back 90 calories. And I know you arent having merely one. Don’t lie to yourself.

7. Potato Salad

Ugh. Blend the starchiest veggie known to humankind with mayo and bacon and suddenly you have a southerners wet dreaming. Roughly one cup of traditional potato salad will set you backwait for it360 calories. Thats several Reese’s eggs and almost a piece of quiche( mmm but not quite ). Stick with a baked potato, or, better yet, something like asparagus. Green things are almost always a better option.

8. Deviled Eggs

An egg on its own isnt bad. But, for some reason, we as a species decided to start cutting out and stuffing the centers with egg yolk, mayonnaise, mustard, and spices. For some reason, we decided this was a grand idea, and have justifiably ignored that each egg HALF is now 70 calories or more. No one has one deviled eggno one. Passover got one thing right, at least: Stick to a regular , non-deviled hard simmered egg and you’ll be Gucci.

9. Souffl

A souffl is an egg-based dish which originated in France. People add all kinds of shit to this springy dish including mushrooms, more eggs, cheese, and flesh. However, like most things given to us by the French, souffls are genuinely mean for active people, like those who stroll or bike everywhere. Gifting this is something that America at approximately 230 calories per bowl is equal of you baking brownies for all your best friend right before a pond party. We are onto you, France, and “were not going” stand for your sabotage.

10. Shortbread Cookies

To point your banquet, may I intimate something like a lick of chocolate? A bite of angel meat cake? Shortbread cookies are butter mixed with more butter with some carbohydrate for flavor. About 150 calories per cookie seals the bargain on our Easter fate.

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