People on Instagram have started use bizarre parts to make foods that look like a “galaxy” pattern, or with super bright colorings to look like “mermaid” or “unicorn” shit. Yes, this is real. We’ve already exposed the horror that is mermaid toast, and regrettably, moldy-looking ointment cheese on bread is merely the beginning.
People Hipsters are not stopping at toast, and there’s no telling what they will fuck up next in the name of a few Instagram likes.
These < strike> monstrosities foods as a whole have been dubbed Lisa Frankenfoods, and thats creepy accurate, but also it stimulates us want to kill ourselves. These nightmare people invest route too much occasion and vigor making all their meat bizarre colorings, and in case that wasn’t extra enough, they are generally add some aces and moon shapes on top for
good measure extra basicness. Because it’s completely normal to invest hours straying the scatters aisle at Kroger to find some aces to put on your fucking toast.
The most well known lesson youve likely understood is the rainbow bagel. But like, why does it need to be a rainbow? The colorings dont even appreciation like anything, and you know its a complete pain in the ass to make. But either way, some hipster in Brooklyn had an idea and now the damn thing is Instagram famous. Honestly though, thats just the tip of the iceberg, and we’ve been addressing the rainbow bagel for a year now, so it’s good-for-nothing new.
“I’ve get 99 problems, but a bagel ain’t one” [ email protected ]~ ATAGEND__christina
The Bagel Store (@ thebagelstore) March 26, 2017
The real question are the new mermaid and galaxy foods because they typically blend the two worst people alive: hipsters and vegans. These people desire foods like chia pudding and smoothie bowl, and they ruin them by adding this powder shit called Blue Majik, which is apparently an Australian superfood but were not persuasion. Genuinely, should you be devouring something from a company that spells Majik like that? No? We didnt think so.
Oh Snap! Let’s Eat! (@ ohsnapletseat) August 16, 2016
Also, how does the above bowl qualify as “mermaid, ” precisely? It’s only blue.
Harper’s Bazaar UK (@ BazaarUK) March 20, 2017
We wont lie, the galaxy shit looks kind of cool, but wouldnt you instead have it on like your computer background, or maybe some basic leggings if you’re going to EDC Vegas? Theres genuinely no is a requirement to devastate your ointment cheese by adding whirl of black food coloring, so only dont. We like visually appealing meat, but its meat , not your fucking secondary school art programme. Also, please stop trying to make everything into a mermaid or a unicorn or Lisa Frank. Like, we get it, you miss the 90 s and you can’t “lets get going” of your childhood and you have some persist daddy a matter that you’re attempting to deal with by devouring your senses, literally. But please stop assaulting my Instagram feed with this nonsense. Just do what everybody else who still harbors resentment towards their absent parent does, and fuck a cluster of old dudes. Or buy a Disney princess bikini. Your call.
Read more: http :// www.betches.com /~ ATAGEND